Day 9, Sunday in Hanoi

Today we are free to do as we please. We do not have any appointments to take care of so we decided to go to the Museum of Ethnology. The museum has a wonderful display of all the 54 ethnic groups in Vietnam from costumes, housing, to weaving designs to tombs. It must be a very popular place for wedding photos because we saw at least twenty if not more brides and grooms taking photos in wedding dresses and tuxedos. It was such a delight to learn about our girl’s heritage.

The girls are such good troopers Van sitting in her stroller and Vy holding P’s finger never leaving his side. Not one complaint out of them. I’m sure that will change soon but for now we are enjoying it.

We spent the rest of the day in the hotel room just playing and napping. The girls are starting to relax and showing their personally more and more each day. When we are out in public they are very reserved with not many smiles but in the hotel room smiles and laughs are abundant. They are both calling me Mama on a regular basis and tonight an English “no” instead of a VN “no” and “hi” were both added to the vocabulary. Vy is trying to feed me some and in return she is letting me feed her. When they are well rested they are opening up to me more and more but when they are tired it is all Ba or Dad. It is so nice to see them responding to P in this way. I just love seeing them bond with him.

Tonight was the fist time T needed some time alone without the girls as they are opening up they are becoming silly and loud at times. Thank goodness we have two rooms a sitting room where T is making his bedroom and a bedroom where P, the girls and I sleep, play and eat. This allows T to have some down time from being a big brother.

For supper we ordered pizza and had it delivered it was quite the challenge to place an order, but we got it done and the pizza was delivered without a problem.

Day 8, Saturday in Hanoi

The real estate in Hanoi is very expensive and all the buildings are long and narrow in the old quarter of Hanoi. This means, if you don’t have a room at the front of the hotel, your room will not have any windows. Our hotel room has no windows, so we did not have to sun to help wake us up. At one point, when everyone was stirring, we looked at P’s alarm clock and saw it was 1:30 in the morning. Remembering that the girls had been playing with it, we checked P’s watch and saw it was 9:00 in the morning. We had slept a much needed 12 hours.

By the time everyone was ready to leave the hotel it was 11 AM so we decided to walk to a nice restaurant called Sesame. When we arrived we were asked if we had reservations and we said no. They did not have room in the inside of the restaurant but did in the court yard outside. So we ate our lunch listening to the sounds of Hanoi. What a great Vietnamese experience. I highly recommend this restaurant for anyone coming to Hanoi. We will be back before we leave to go home.

After lunch we walked back to the hotel Vy holding P hand and Van holding T’s hand I was leading the way. The side walks are narrow and often there are scooters parked on the sidewalks and people sitting talking and eating making the area to walk very narrow if it exists at all. Many times we found ourselves walking on the street dodging scooters.

We arrived back at the hotel and it was time for the girls to take a nap and P to fill out the I 600 paperwork. P left and T and I tried to put the girls down for a nap. They would lie down and snuggle with T and soon fell fast asleep. T is a wonderful big brother or Ahn as the girls call him in Vietnamese. The girls just adore him as they soon will adore the two Ahns waiting at home to meet them.

When the twins woke up and P returned we decided to head out and see the Doug Xuan Market in the Old Quarter. It was a short distant from the hotel but again hard to maneuver the streets not only because of the scooters and people but because it was now approaching 5:30 PM and the streets were beginning to bustle with people coming home from work. When we arrived at the market, we discovered venders packing up their goods for the evening. We made a quick walk through and left to discover the streets of the Old Quarter. We would return during the weekday to see the market. On our excursion through the streets we happened upon a little grocery store that would sell YoMost and yogurt for the girls and drinks and treats for us. Our outing was done and we headed back to the Hotel and to find a place for supper. We decided to try the R&R restaurant. It is owned by an American man and his Vietnamese wife. They served western food in a bar like setting. The food was ok and the service was good but if you are craving hamburgers and Mexican cuisine it was an ok place to go but I would not go out of your way to eat there.

We took a taxi to the hotel with a driver that took no mercy on anyone or anything in his way going down the wrong way on streets and flashing his lights to have drivers get out of his way. We were very glad it was a short ride from the restaurant and that we made it to the hotel safely.

Our day ended with showers for the girls and to bed. It had been a very successful day. The girls are warming up to me one step at a time. We started to call them by their American names and they are catching on very quickly to responding to their new names. Both of them are calling Mama instead of Me (May). I think it is less confusing for them. They both have been successful in staying potty trained and letting us know in their own way when they have to go and have staying dry all the time. Let’s hope this continues. Every day is full of new discoveries and adventures for them and us. Both girls catch on very quickly to routines and understand quite a bit of what we say to them.

Day 6 continued and Day 7

The night in HCMC and the flight to Hanoi on Day 7.

We finished the long bus trip to HCMC and went to our hotel. The girls were still clinging to N. for support. The next few hours were going to be rough. We had two rooms, one for me and the girls and one for T and P. We had the entire luggage sent up in T and P’s room. N took the girls to our room and quickly left. Needless to say, the girls freaked out and got very upset. They were crying and rocking. It was very sad. Eventually, Van went to P and grabbed on with all her might. Vy soon followed and P was not going any where without the girls.

I pulled out my bag of toys with added new ones and the girls settled down and started to play. The smiles and laughs once again appeared. It was so nice to see. This time the new toy was stacking cups. The girls love them. Van was the first to start tacking the cups. She was able to stack 8 out of 10 cups right away. Of course Vy could not let her sister bask in the light to much and she knocked all the cups down and they both giggled. The airplane and little people were again a big hit.

When it came time to go to sleep P and the girls sat on the edge of the bed and rocked for about an hour and they started to get sleepy. P slowly moved back so the group could lie down. They were reluctant to let me even touch them. Van was very insistent in pointing to the floor. I picked up many items and she would say no in Vietnamese. Finally, I picked up the purple crocs and that is what she wanted to sleep with. The girl loves her shoes and knows the purple ones are hers and the pick crocs are Vy’s. P, Van and Vy cuddled up and slept for then night. P wished he had brought some clothes and brushed his teeth before the action started, but he could not leave their sides now.

The next morning Y, P, T, Vy, Van and I would fly to Hanoi. This was their first plane trip and another ride in the taxi. The girls woke up promptly at 4:30 in the morning. We had some Yo Most (a yogurt drink) with us. They drank in the morning, and we could give them a sponge bath. A shower seemed like too much for them at this point. We went down for breakfast. The girls ate a little, but would only take food from P. If I offered them food they would say no, in Vietnamese, but P could take the spoon from me and they would just open their little mouths and eat. They each had French bread and yogurt. They followed P around like little ducklings. Very cute. They played a little in the morning, but were still just coming out of their shells. Van went to the suitcase to find her clothes. She likes to pick out her clothes and gets upset when she gets dirty.

Our flight to Hanoi was at 9:30, so we had to leave the hotel by 7:30. We went with Y to the airport in two taxis, since we had luggage and so many people. The girls were still following P and would not go with me to the airport, so Y and I rode in one taxi with the luggage, and P, T and the girls rode in the other. As with the bus, Van got sick in the taxi. Vy, however, did not. The first order of business when we got to the airport was to change Van into some clean clothes and wipe down P’s pants as much as we could. Using the Vietnamese documents we had to prove we were the parents of Vy and Van, we had no problem checking in at the airport. Since the plane was full when we wanted to travel, we had to fly business class. It was not much more, but very much worth the expense. We had to purchase a ticket for each of the girls, but they would not sit in them. They both wanted to sit on P’s lap, but the flight attendant said only one child could sit there. I sat next to P, and we had the flight attendant tell them that they had to sit on either my or P’s lap. Vy was quick to scramble onto P’s lap. Van stood there. When the flight attendant tried to pick her up, she cried and pulled back. I reach down and put her on my lap. She was not happy, but also did not cry for more than a couple of minutes. P and I each had air sickness bags open and ready for use.

The flight was great. Both girls fell asleep on our laps for almost the whole 2 hour flight. This was the first time I held my baby girl Van. It felt so good to finally hold her. The only time they woke up was when Van pointed at the overhead bin where her potty chair was and told us in no uncertain terms that she needed it. We quickly got up, took the potty chair and the girls to the toilet. Thank goodness Vietnam Airlines has big toilet facilities. We put the chair down and both girls went. Their Pull Ups were both dry. It was nice that P and I also got some rest since we had been up since 4:30.

When we got to Hanoi, we took a large shuttle van to the hotel. It is about an hour drive. The girls sat next to P. The driver was great, he would slow down whenever there was something interesting for T to photograph, like 10 piglets in little cages on the back of a scooter. T had a great time. The girls did well in the van and did not get sick. In public they are pretty shy and reserved. When we got to the room, it was a different story.

As soon as we got into the room, we started to pull out the toys to play and also pulled out the potty chairs we brought with us. The girls went potty and then got silly. We decided to start introducing their American names to them more frequently, so we started calling Sophie “Sophie Vy” and Lilly was “Lily Van.” They started chattering (N and Y told us they were saying a few Vietnamese words, but were generally just making sounds to make noise) and playing with the toys. Soon it was time for P to leave and go to the Vietnamese immigration office to apply for the girl’s passports. When he left, it was tough on the girls. It was also naptime, but the girls would not lay down with me, but they were happy to lay down with T and were soon fast asleep. P was only gone a couple of hours. We would be able to pick up the girls’ passports next Friday.

When the girls woke up from their naps, it was time for supper but before we would do that we would drop off our laundry across the street at a little laundry shop. Y met us in the lobby and showed us where the shop was and helped us with translation. As the shop lady was counting the laundry Van noticed that her pink love was in the wash. These are the loveys we sent to them when H made her last trip to VN. It was apparent that the nannies gave them the pink loveys because it was very important to them. Van kept pointing to the loveys and them to her head to the loveys and then head and speaking in Vietnamese. Yen translated for us and said she was asking for a hat. Vietnamese keep their head and skin covered from the sun at all times. Van had remembered when we did not have a hat when we got off the bus in Phan Thiet the nanny covered her head with the small pick blanket and that is what Van wanted to do. She wanted us to cover her head like nanny instructed. Show this kid once and she never forgets. We could not retrieve the pink loveys because it had gotten thrown up on during the travels so for the next 30 minutes while we walked the streets of the Old Quarter looking for a hat. Van would ask for a hat and point to her head. Finally we made it to a Vietnamese type mall that maybe we could buy two hats and two strollers. We found hats and as we were leaving we found two strollers. Vy would have nothing to do with the stroller she was still stuck to P like glue but Van would again be the first to ride in the stroller and enjoyed it.

Y went with us to supper at a Vietnamese buffet. On the drive to the restaurant I asked Y what the children at the orphanage called the nannies. I always thought it would be the Vietnamese word for nanny. I was wrong. The children all call the nannies Me (It is pronounced “May” and is the word for Mom). The more I thought about this them more I thought this must be confusing for the girls and all the older children in the orphanage. Going from 7 Me to one Me. Would they think I would disappear too? So we talked it over and decided Mama would be what they are to call me from now on. P would still be Ba (Vietnamese for Daddy).

The restaurant was a drive from where we were staying, but the food was great, and not expensive. When we pulled up at about 6:00, they asked us if we had reservations. We didn’t, but they still seated us right away. The girls were still glued to P. When we sat down, we pulled two chairs together for P, Vy and Van. Vy (Sophie) would not sit anywhere but on P’s lap. Van (Lily) sat next to P on the chair. P stayed with the girls and fed them. They ate fruit, bread, yogurt, and soup. Van ate well, but Vy needed some coaxing to eat. They both drank fruit juice and water. Since P was busy, I fixed him a plate. It was a great family restaurant.

After an uneventful trip back to the hotel, it was time to try to get the girls in the shower. They were still glued to P, so we decided to use that to our advantage. P put on his swimsuit and sat in the shower. He turned on the shower and soon the girls were in the shower laughing and playing in the water. The shower time was great fun. I was able to bathe them and P just had to play. At bedtime, each girl got on a side of P and went to sleep. It had been an eventful day.

Day 6, G & R day !!!

Today was the big day. We were going to become parents again!

We got up about 6:00 to get ready for the day. It was hot outside. Immediately after getting out of the shower, you started to perspire so much, you felt like you needed another shower. The girls were up early and ate some slices of tangerine and drank some milk. About 7:30 P. and T. came to get us to go to breakfast. It was a really good buffet with a wide selection of western and Vietnamese food. The fruit was amazing. The girls’ ate well and seemed to be doing well. The nanny was reserved and appeared to be contemplating what was about to happen. She raised the girls since they were 1 day old. Since she had the twins, she did not have any other children to care for. She loves the girls as she was their mother and in a way she is the only mother they have known.

After breakfast, we loaded up in the bus for a short trip to the DMOJ (Ministry of Justice) office downtown. We arrived at 8:30 for our 9:00 appointment. We were told to sit on the benches in the lobby and wait. Although we could bring cameras and photograph inside the building, we were prohibited from photographing the exterior of the building. The building was like any government office building, people shuffling paper, people coming in to have appointments and being told to wait. T. and P. (the men) each wore slacks and short-sleeved shirts. The women had to wear long-sleeved shirts and pants to the ceremony.

About 8:50, we were invited up for the ceremony. The only people who could come were the family and L., who served as our interpreter. The room was a small office with a conference table. In the office was the head of the committee that approved our adoption and two other committee members. The head of the committee began to read the adoption decree and tell us of the importance of adopting these girls. She asked us to make sure the girls understood their heritage. She also asked us to raise them as good citizens and to bring them back to Vietnam to visit. After here speech, we started signing documents. Each of these documents had to be signed in blue ink, sealed with a red seal and was notarized. The last document we had to sign was the adoption ledger. It is a huge book, like an old banker’s ledger, with a line for each child adopted from the province. The ledger was all hand-written. We then took photos with the girls, the nanny and the committee members. We were officially parents again. Next, we went to the office of another government official. She asked us to raise the girls to become good citizens and asked us to ensure they understood their heritage. Then it came our turn to talk. They asked us to make a few comments to the committee and thank them for allowing us to adopt the girls. I let P. handle this. By 9:20 we were leaving the building and going back to the shopping center across the street to wait for all the certified, notarized documents we would need to take to the embassy to get the girls’ visas.

While we were there, the nanny fed the girls and we waited. When we boarded the bus, she came with us as far as the bus station. When we dropped her off the girls began to cry and get upset. Y., Ms. H, and Ms. N., were great at calming the girls down. Since N. was a frequent visitor to the orphanage, the girls climbed up next to her. After about 15 minutes (it seemed longer at the time), the girls began to settle down; they ate a little and fell asleep.

Day 6, G & R day !!!

Today was the big day. We were going to become parents again!

We got up about 6:00 to get ready for the day. It was hot outside. Immediately after getting out of the shower, you started to perspire so much, you felt like you needed another shower. The girls were up early and ate some slices of tangerine and drank some milk. About 7:30 P. and T. came to get us to go to breakfast. It was a really good buffet with a wide selection of western and Vietnamese food. The fruit was amazing. The girls’ ate well and seemed to be doing well. The nanny was reserved and appeared to be contemplating what was about to happen. She raised the girls since they were 1 day old. Since she had the twins, she did not have any other children to care for. She loves the girls as she was their mother and in a way she is the only mother they have known.

After breakfast, we loaded up in the bus for a short trip to the DMOJ (Ministry of Justice) office downtown. We arrived at 8:30 for our 9:00 appointment. We were told to sit on the benches in the lobby and wait. Although we could bring cameras and photograph inside the building, we were prohibited from photographing the exterior of the building. The building was like any government office building, people shuffling paper, people coming in to have appointments and being told to wait. T. and P. (the men) each wore slacks and short-sleeved shirts. The women had to wear long-sleeved shirts and pants to the ceremony.

About 8:50, we were invited up for the ceremony. The only people who could come were the family and L., who served as our interpreter. The room was a small office with a conference table. In the office was the head of the committee that approved our adoption and two other committee members. The head of the committee began to read the adoption decree and tell us of the importance of adopting these girls. She asked us to make sure the girls understood their heritage. She also asked us to raise them as good citizens and to bring them back to Vietnam to visit. After here speech, we started signing documents. Each of these documents had to be signed in blue ink, sealed with a red seal and was notarized. The last document we had to sign was the adoption ledger. It is a huge book, like an old banker’s ledger, with a line for each child adopted from the province. The ledger was all hand-written. We then took photos with the girls, the nanny and the committee members. We were officially parents again. Next, we went to the office of another government official. She asked us to raise the girls to become good citizens and asked us to ensure they understood their heritage. Then it came our turn to talk. They asked us to make a few comments to the committee and thank them for allowing us to adopt the girls. I let P. handle this. By 9:20 we were leaving the building and going back to the shopping center across the street to wait for all the certified, notarized documents we would need to take to the embassy to get the girls’ visas.

While we were there, the nanny fed the girls and we waited. When we boarded the bus, she came with us as far as the bus station. When we dropped her off the girls began to cry and get upset. Y., Ms. H, and Ms. N., were great at calming the girls down. Since N. was a frequent visitor to the orphanage, the girls climbed up next to her. After about 15 minutes (it seemed longer at the time), the girls began to settle down; they ate a little and fell asleep.

Day 5, Travel to Phan Thiet

On the 24th we got up early to pick up the girls and the nanny at the orphanage to travel to Phan Thiet, which is the capital of the province of Binh Thuan. We were given permission to take the girls early to Phan Thiet so we would not have to get up at 4:00 a.m. to make it our 9:00 G & R ceremony. This was going to be a big day for the girls. The nanny told us that they were so healthy that they never had to leave the orphanage to go to the doctor. This was going to be their first time on a bus, the first time leaving the orphanage, the first time to go shopping, the first time to eat at a restaurant, and the first time to see the ocean or step on a beach.

We arrived at the orphanage at 9:30. We were again greeted by the children at the gate. Vy and Van were holding back a bit. They were with their nanny, who was tearful. The girl’s leaving was also hard on many of the other nannies and the older children that live at the orphanage. The nanny would accompany us to Phan Thiet. We arranged for two rooms when we got there. T. and P. were to be in one in one and I was to be in another one with the nanny and the girls.

It took about 2 hours to drive to Phan Thiet. When we arrived we stopped at the shopping center to pick up some familiar food items for the girls, water and other items. One thing (really two things) we did not get was potty chairs. The girls had not used western facilities and needed training chairs. The bus driver later went out shopping for us and got the chairs. After shopping, we went to the hotel. The hotel was located on the beach and was very nice. The only surprise we had was in the bathroom. Each bathroom was open to the outside. Although it was shielded from view by a brick fence, it was interesting to experience that. After lunch the girls went down for a nap. It was very hot outside, so everyone rested in their rooms until later in the day. About 4:00 T., L. and N. went down to the beach. When nap time was over, P., I, the nanny and the girls also went to the beach. They did not want to go near the water, but were content to sit and watch T. play in the water.

In the evening the plan was to have P. and I spend some time with the girls. We started with the nanny there. We started playing games and throwing a beach ball back and forth. They had a great time. During the game the nanny slipped out, leaving P. and I with the girls. They were fine until the noticed the nanny was gone. The both got very sad and began to cry. It breaks your heart, because they can’t find comfort from your touch. The push your hand away and continue to cry. P. and I sat near them and talked in soothing tones to them, and stroked each of the girls’ hair as they would let us. Pretty soon the uncontrollable crying was over. They were very tired and began to cuddle together while they were sitting and started rocking back and forth. Van rocked herself to sleep. Vy was determined and kept rocking and rocking.

After a couple of hours the nanny came back. They both woke up and changed into pajamas. They were still tired, but we got some smiles out of them before P. left. I and the nanny put the girls down to bed.

Day 4 at the orphanage

Day 4 at the orphanage

This morning will be our last time visiting the orphanage. Tomorrow we will pack our bags and travel to the orphanage to pick up the girls and their nanny and travel to a resort near Phan Teit. Our G&R will be Thursday morning at 9 am. Since it is a long drive to the city we will travel on Wednesday stay the night, have the G&R on Thursday and return to Saigon that same day. Friday, we will rise early and fly to Hanoi to start out paperwork. Many new adventures will be in store for the girls since they have never been out of the orphanage or traveled in a vehicle.

As we entered the orphanage the children came running to meet all of us. Vy and Van were next to their nanny as they have been for all our visits. Soon we got smiles and we headed in the entryway of the center. First we pulled out the airplane which is always a big hit and the people to go with it. Vy had some interest in the people but Van only wanted to listen to the song. Today we brought a long a beach ball for the girls to play with. They were quite interested in P blowing up this ball and how it expanded. It took them just a few minutes to warm up to the idea and then the fun began. At one point we had as many as 5 children in the room with only us so I asked T to get the staff to remove some of the kids in which they promptly did. Having to many children around can make the girls worry about losing their possessions and our attention. The only child that remained was X and she was so sweet and quiet. We handed her a color and a page and she was content coloring on her own. This was a big step for her because she has not wanted anything to do with us before now. She is shy like the girls.

The morning continued with more bubbles and beach ball play. Soon it was time for the girls to eat. They rushed off to the nanny but kept peeking through the doorway to make sure we were still there. We slowly made our way into the room as they finished their lunch and started a good game of peek a boo and beach ball throwing.

All around a very good day with the girls with more progress.

Day 3 with the Girls

The days started with breakfast at the hotel and then loaded the bus to go to the orphanage for the morning. I started the visit with the girls and blowing bubbles. Yesterday they really enjoyed blowing bubbles. We sat down with them outside on a woven matt. They were with their nanny sitting one on each side of her. They were reserved and a little cool to us this morning, until the bubbles started. Then they lit up and started to smile with big grins on their faces. Now, we are having fun.

After bubble time, we moved inside to the play room. Before we settled down, I asked if the girls would like to show us their bed and dresser. With huge smiles on their faces they quickly walked towards their room often looking back to see if we were following. We entered the room where the girls and the other younger children sleep. The girls were so excited to show us what little they have. We again made it to the floor to start playing with the girls and within about 10 minutes, the nanny slipped out and it was just the family (and the other children who wandered in and out). We played with the girls, ate chocolate, teddy graham crackers. They are so dainty when they eat. It takes them 5-8 bites to eat just one. I pulled out the combs and we asked if we could comb their hair. They let us comb their hair, and they even took the combs and started combing our hair, even though P does not have much to comb. At one point Van had a tear or two, but she never left the room and did not want the nanny. Later in the morning, we again pulled out the balls. This time it was it was a family affair. The girls had a great time throwing balls at T and P. Vy was very outgoing and very verbal. When some of the other children would come in, she would tell us their name.

The morning flew by and it was time to leave to regroup and take naps including the girls.

Afternoon Day 3

This afternoon our visit would be from 3 to 5 that would give us a little extra time to rest before heading to the orphanage. It may sound like we get tired easily, but believe it or not it is hard work trying to earn the trust of the girls. Physically draining sitting on hard concrete floors in 90 plus heat with 80 plus humidity and mentally trying to keep the girls engaged at all times along with trying to read them developmentally and emotionally.

Again the girls did a reversal of the morning. Vy normally the leader was having a hard time and Van the shy one was coming out of her shell. I was trying to think of a new game plan for each day, and without having a lot of materials to work with it is a challenge. We started out with colors and coloring books. I was not sure if they were ready for this but we would give it a shot. Luck was with us and coloring was a big hit. We all colored for over 20 minutes. Each girl held the color properly and tried to stay in the lines. I was pleased that they enjoyed this activity. Some of the older children entered the room from time to time and joined in coloring.

Next, I pulled out of my bag books to read. They were curious about the books, but you could tell they had not been read to very often. The two books that were a hit were two I picked up in Saigon at a book store on Doung Khoi Street. The books are written in English and Vietnamese with large colorful pictures. I gave each girl a book and they enjoyed looking at them. When one of the other children would come and try to look at the books they would put up a fight to keep them.

It is common practice among the children in the orphanage to protect what is theirs. If anything is not guarded it will be taken by the other children maybe never to return. We helped the girls with protecting their toys and realized early on that would let us move the toys so other children would not get to the toys and books. It really showed that they were beginning to trust us. This too was a full time job. If anything left your sight, you might not ever see it again. Shoes are a great example. You leave your shoes at the door of the orphanage. They are never where you left them. Little feet are always in big sandals walking around. I learned this the first day when I brought toys for the girls and they never returned. I feel bad that I can’t leave all the toys for the children because they have so little, but we need some familiar toys for the girls for the next few weeks and our plane ride to Hanoi and home.

When the coloring and books lost their interest I pulled out a F.P. airplane. It is a great toy, all the children at the orphanage loved it so we had to be very protective of it for the girls. The girls found out that if you push the pilot seat down it will sing a song. This is a big hit. They love music and it creates the biggest smiles on their faces. The best thing of the day was to hear them speak. Vy stared rambling on and on we have no idea what she was saying except when she said the children’s names who entered the room. Van joined in also and they were talking to each other in twin talk. Such good news since I am concerned about there language development. At least now I know they will use their voices and can say some words even though we have no idea what they are saying.

I asked them if they wanted to go for a walk and motioned to the door. They got up and we all went outside for a short stroll. They were very leery at first but did follow us. Then their nanny came out with their supper. Vietnamese culture is to hand feed the children. They do not like the mess that children make when they self-feed and they want to make sure the children get enough nutrition. The girls do feed themselves’ snacks and drink from a cup on their own just not the main meals.

It was getting time to leave and the temp was cooling off just tolerable for us, but for the children and nannies it was getting cold. Out came the sweaters for each of the children so they would not catch a chill. We said our good byes. Each of us got a hand shake, a cheek to cheek kiss and a blown kiss. As we walked down the drive way the girls followed us and stopped just short of the gate. Another big step, never before have they walked down to the entrance of the orphanage.

Each visit the girls are coming out of their shells and trust us more and more. We have been so blessed to be able to have this time with them.

Day 2 meeting the girls......

Day 2 with the girls

It was 8:00 and we are loading the bus for a 20 minute ride to the orphanage. We all enjoy this drive because we are able to see a glimpse into the lives of the Vietnamese people. School children heading to Mass in there Navy pants or skirt and white shirt the same uniform they were to school except for the scarf around their neck. When going to school the children were a red scarf. On Sundays they were blue, green, or yellow scarves with a yellow cross on the tip that hangs down their backs according to the age of the student. Adults are heading to mass or to do their daily chores, field work, sales, tending to animals etc. We always enjoy looking for a water buffalo. Binh Thuan Province does not have as many water buffalo as the southern Provinces so it is fun trying to spot one along the road or in the fields.

We turn down the last road to the orphanage there is a large school on the left and police station on the right. Today, being Sunday both were very quiet. The orphanage is right next to the school on the left. As the bus pulls up to the gate we see the young children running to the gate to meet us. The twins are not among the children. They are waiting with their nanny sitting on the door step of one of the entrances to the play room. Again they are tightly glued to their nanny. She has been their care giver since they were one day old, so they are very attached to her and her to them.

We started the day with gift giving. Our wonderful church and friends had given us donations of clothing, medical supplies, and dental supplies for the orphanage. We left 2 duffle bags of donations with the agency in Saigon, but still had another bag to bring to Binh Thuan. We pulled out all the items and gave them to the orphanage director. After the adult time, we pulled out 3 bottles of bubbles. The children had a ball blowing bubbles and catching them only to watch them pop. Van and Vy were great at blowing bubbles. Both girls had very big smiles and laughed.

We entered the play room, a 20 X 20 room painted a worn bluish green color. There is a swing and a collapsed plastic ball play area and plastic balls scattered around the room. The twins and the nanny joined us in the room along with Y and L to translate. The girls sat on the swing with another little girl while the adults sat on the floor. This morning we were going to interview the nanny and try to find out as much as we can about the girls. Priceless to say the least, it was so nice of Y to set this up for us. We were able to find out about there lives at the orphanage and their personalities their likes and dislikes. We did find out that they have never stepped foot outside the orphanage gates. Having never had anything medical more than a simple cold there was no need to leave the orphanage. Oh how their world will change.

As we were talking and the girls were swinging Van got very sad and began to cry. She obviously knows her world will be changing. She is the shyer one of the twins and seems to worry more. They both headed over to their nanny. The nanny told Vy to get a wet cloth for her sister and she quickly left and returned with a cloth. As the nanny consoles Van and washes her tears away Vy sits down behind Van as to protect her. We talked a little bit more and then it was time for the girls to eat and us to leave. As we left the girls shook our hand and off we went down the drive to the bus. We would head back to the resort until 2:00 when we would make the trip over again.






Afternoon of day 2

Our second visit of the day started out as the others. Entering the play room and sitting and playing with the girls. This time the nanny ever so quietly left the girls alone with us. Oh how hard this must be for her. She is such a brave and courageous person with a smile on her face but I can feel the breaking of her heart. She is so strong in front of the twins; she knows it is only in the best interest of the girls. These have been her girls for the last 3.5 years and now she is handing them over to us. I do not have the word of gratitude I feel towards her. A simple thank you and a small gift is just not enough but it is all we are allowed to do. I feel like we owe her the world for taking such good care of our girls.

The time spent with the girls is so precious. We are slowly making progress and I thank the agency for being able to pull this extended visitation together. This time Van was happy and not tearful but Vy was having a hard time with a worried look on her face and tears. It was sad and hard to see but I know that it is healthy for them to feel this way. This transition is a process and it is important to go through it and not around it so it was actually a positive sign that both have shown sadness and worry. They understand something is going to happen and can process it in their minds.

We have still not been able to hold them they are not ready for this. We can touch them and play with there hair but they are not ready to be held that right now is for the nanny to do. I don’t want to push them to much in fear of them regressing from all the progress we have made.

During our visit it seemed like all the children came into the play room. It was very loud and busy. Eventually, one of the older children started throwing the balls. The ball fight was on. Depending on where you were in the room during the first throw determined your team. Van and Vy both joined in and had a great time, as did the adults, including Ms. H. It was very special to see their faces light up and smile while we were playing with the balls.

The time flew by as it has the last 2 visits and it is time to say our good byes. Teddy and Pat got a cheek to cheek kiss. We all shook hands and blow kisses and off we went. Another good day with small steps to earning the girls’ trust as we head into a new beginning.

October 20, 2007 We meet the girls!

Saturday morning we awoke early and packed our bags. Today we would travel to LaGi to meet our girls for the very first time! After packing our luggage, we headed down to breakfast. The hotel offers a variety of traditional Vietnamese dishes, congee, which is a rice porridge that the girls like to eat. I guess I will be learning how to make this. The hotel also had spring rolls, Pho, which I love, but it has been so hot that I have not had any yet. Fresh fruits and the best fresh squeezed orange juice I have ever had, even though they were green. We were packed and ready to go by 7:30. The bus was to arrive at the hotel at 8:30. T worked on some homework while we waited. The bus came and we headed down the busy streets of Saigon to the Agency’s office where we would meet all the staff and have our orientation meeting. Because of the traffic it took about an hour to travel across the streets of Saigon. At the office, which is located on what looks like a narrow alley we were greeted by all the wonderful staff. We were taken to the 3rd floor where we were served nice cold water and fruit. As the staff went over the paperwork and informed us of the days events T worked on homework. We were all done within an hour and off on the streets of Saigon to LaGi.

The trip would be 4 to 5 hours depending on the traffic. Even though we had left the city the roads to Binh Thuan are lined with homes and businesses. We stopped at a little restaurant to have lunch and use the western facilities. I had warned T that when we traveled out in the rural areas that we may have to use squatty toilets and that we would have to make sure we had TP just in case there was none. Everything on the trip was great.

Back on the road again Ms. H and Y chatted, the staff and I took a little nap while P and T watched the sights go by. It would be another 2 hours before we would be at the orphanage.

We entered the city of LaGi and headed down back roads to the orphanage. I could feel we were getting close. I wondered how the girls would react to see us for the first time. Had the nannies prepared them for our arrival? How much did they understand of what was going to happen in the next few days?

It was difficult to wake throughout the gates of the orphanage. I sat outside the gates holding M a short 6 months ago wondering what the children were like and if our child would come form this orphanage. As I walked through the gates it almost felt like a forbidden place for me, but this time I could walk through the gates to finally see and meet our girls. I slowly walked up the entry. There were 2 school age boys who met us at the gate. They were smiling and wanting to say hello in English. We were directed by the staff to go the left of the compound. We walked up 2 steps and stood at the entrance to a small room. Next to that room was another room that all the children were in. The staff wanted us to enter one at a time so we would not frighten the children. Ever so slowly we entered one by one. The children were all walking in a circle and singing a song something like ring around the rosey. Before we even entered the room X and H.A. started to cry. I could see the girls through the screen, and oh how beautiful they looked. We entered slowly and sat on the floor opposite form the girls. I did not want to approach them too soon. I offered the girls a toy tiger and their nanny encouraged Vy to come get it. She very quickly got up and grabbed it from my hand and returned quickly to her nanny. I did the same for Van but she would not move. I could see by the look on her face she was very worried. I pulled out the toy airplane from my bag. Vy again took advantage of this and grabbed the toy and returned to the nanny. Van sat still and just watched. I told Teddy it was time to work his charm and approach the girls slowly. He was able to do so without frightening them to much. I can only imagine how over whelming it was for them. I pulled out the suckers to share with all the children and nannies. Vy again was the first to grab and go, she was getting the hand of this side show. All the other children come one by one to collect their suckers. The older ones were very polite and crossed their arms and bowed as they accepted the suckers. I was so impressed.

I decided, with a little encouragement from Y, that I should try to approach the girls. I wanted so to just run in and grab them up and give them a great big hug, but I knew this would not be good. I wanted to approach them on their terms not mine. I slowly moved forward and sat next to Vy. I could tell by the look on Van face that she was not ready at all for me to approach her. I slowly tried to encourage the girls to play but they were not interested so I just sat next to them and was able to touch Vy leg and back without to much resistance. I took a photo of Van and showed it to Vy. She was very interested in this. Hmmmm a photographer in the making just like mom? Before I knew it their nanny had gotten up and I saw my chance to sit in between the girls. My move was accepted they did not move away. I was able to touch Van ever so lightly and she also accepted my touch. Progress, one tiny step at a time. After an hour it was time for everyone to take a break. The girls Nanny had a bowl of soup for the girls and it was time for them to eat. The girls followed the nanny’s que and came over for their supper.

As we left the room the girls shook our hands to say good bye and then waived. We then headed off to board the bus. Now it was time to check into the resort.

The first day we met......

We get to go to meet the girls tomorrow!

H has been working diligently for weeks to get permission from the Provence officials to see the girls early. It has been granted that we can enter the Provence tomorrow and see the girls. We do not have a G&R date but we know it will be sometime this week. I am not concerned with that as long as we get to spend time with the girls as we are waiting.

A LONG, LONG TRAVEL DAY

A LONG, LONG TRAVEL DAY

Our day began as it normally would wake at 6:30 and getting ready for the day. One thing was different though, WE WERE GOING TO VIETNAM! Today was the day that we would travel to meet our girls for the very first time. My usual morning routine was to grab Dew and hop on the Internet to read the morning mail. This morning was not like others however. When I clicked on the Internet icon, it froze. I decided I would just restart the computer and get off to a new start. So I did, and when it rebooted I got the dreaded black screen of death! My computer was dead. I tried several times to restart but nothing just a black screen. Now on any given day this would have been a travesty, but today of all days when we were to get on a plane in less than 8 hours to travel half way around the world. What would I do? Computer withdrawal was not in our game plan. I have wanted to share this adoption journey with all our family and friends. Buying a new computer was not in the budget at this point, but if need be I would. I decided to give my computer a time out and see if things would just straighten out. While the computer was in its time out, I decided to double check my packing list just one last time to make sure we didn’t forget anything. I felt comfortable that everything was packed since we have been planning this journey for months now. My only concern was the camera and video cords. I remembered putting them out to be packed, but they are something I use on regular bases so I wanted to check just to make sure. I started looking and could not find a one. Had they been packed in the bags already? I decided I should check just to make sure they were indeed in the luggage. I could not find them in any of the 6 checked bags. Yes, 6 bags. We each can check 2 bags at 50 lbs per bag. Before you think, “Man, she is over packing a bit,” I want to explain that only 2 of the bags have our family’s essentials in it. The other four bags are full to the rim with donations for the children in the orphanages. I have been collecting new and slightly worn clothing for the orphanages for the last few months. I have also been fortunate to have been given money for medical supplies such as band aids, hydrocortisone creams, anti-biotic ointments, lotions for excima, to name a few. Most of the money and medical supplies came from our wonderful church family. Thank you so much.

So after looking for the cords and not finding them, I decided I should switch gears and return to my computer. Just maybe if I pause from searching for the cord it would come to me where they might be. So back to the computer one more time. As I entered the office P was working on the computer, and he was able to get it up and running. What a hero, although I think he had an alternative motive. He knew if I didn’t travel with my computer, his life would be miserable so he was desperate to fix it and he did. He also knew that today would be my last day of have my morning Mountain Dew and probably could not bear the fact of a month of traveling with me without a Dew and a computer would be h*ll.

So with the computer up and running and after of course I checked my morning mail it was back to searching for those darn cords. They had to be packed somewhere, but where? After going through each suitcase again I decided that I would just go buy another set of cords, and if we found them well then I would return the unopened packages to the store when we return. Off I went to three different stores. Just my luck each store had one cord but not all. By the time I hit the last store I had all my cords and I was ready to roll.

After returning home we started packing our bags in the Jeep to go to the airport. As each one was loaded I took a picture of it. Just a precaution from my last trip in which my 2 checked bags did not show up in Vietnam for 5 days. It was difficult standing at the airport lost luggage desk trying to explain as best I could to a very nice Vietnamese lady what my bags looked like. Well, it is a black duffle bag just like all other hundreds of black duffels in the airport that day. So anyway just a precaution that I hope we don’t have to use on this trip. We went through our paperwork one last time making sure we had everything the agency told us we should have. I went through the binders I was leaving family and friends, our itinerary, copies of VISA’s and passports, etc. Everything was ready. I looked at the clock and was ready to go. N would be home soon from college to say good bye and we would be off. Now I read and reread our itinerary, I sent it to P, family and friends so they would know our travel schedule. I had it in my mind that our flight left at 4 pm so we should leave for the airport a little after 2. So we had A in one Jeep with P and the luggage, N drove T and me to the airport right after they left. Everything was good. My computer was working, I had cords for my electronics, and I savored my last Dew for a very long time. We were off, off to meet our girls!

T and I meet P and A in the lobby of the airport where P was checking in the luggage. I was talking with A saying our good byes and P said M in that tone of we have a problem here. (P says he does not have a tone, but he does.) We had missed our first flight. How in the world could we have done this? I had no one to blame but myself. I had sent the itinerary out to many but as I have done many times before when P has traveled I glance at it and set it aside. All this time I had misread the fight time, I must have read it over and over and each time 4 pm posted to my memory. Even though we missed our first flight we were able to get on the 3:30 fight without a problem.

As we were sitting on the plane waiting to taxi I told P I hoped that we were getting all this out of the way so we could have a problem free journey from here on out. We made it to Dallas without any problems and headed to our gate. We had a short 30 minutes to grab something to eat, use the facilities and load the plane. As we scarffed down our food and headed to the gate it was just in time to see that do to circumstances in San Fran our flight would be delayed at least an hour in the terminal and up to 40 minutes on the tarmac. Not to panic we had a long layover in San Fran to catch out 1:30 am flight. All I kept thinking was just get all the difficulties out of our way before we meet the girls.

We made it to San Fran and noticed that although we had tickets, receipts and itineraries, we had no boarding passes. We went to the EVA travel lounge, since we could not find any EVA employees at the gate. The woman at the lounge took pity on us and helped us get booked into the flight, sent our baggage numbers down to make sure they had been transferred and told us where we could wait. Once the EVA gate staff got there, P went up to get boarding passes. He came back with boarding cards for T and P, but I did not yet have a seat assigned. As we were in line boarding, P went up and got me my seat. The EVA economy deluxe seating was well worth the money. The seats were comfortable and had foot rests. We were all able to sleep on the 13 hour flight to Taipei. We had a three hour lay over in Taipei before we flew to Vietnam. We used the time to stretch our legs and charge the computer and T’s game.

Arrived in Vietnam at noon on the 18th with all our Bags!!! The VN staff was at the airport and met us as we left the door.

We made it!

We are in HCMC! I just love being back in Vietnam! We are all very tired but trying to stay awake a few more hours.

We are off...........

We are ready our bags are packed our tickets in hand. We are off to meet our girls.

I wonder

As time draws near to travel I wonder…….
I wonder what the girls will really look like……
I wonder what I will see looking into their eyes…….
I wonder what their voices will sound like…….
I wonder how their hair will feel…….
I wonder how big their hands and feet are…….
I wonder will they cry……..
I wonder will they smile…….
I wonder will they laugh…….
I wonder what comforts them…….
I wonder what they are thinking…….
I wonder will they like us……….
I wonder……….

19 months in the making.........Recap

We have a referral!

Our journey began over a year ago. We have gone though a mountain of paperwork, waited and waited some more. Throughout this journey, I have been very active in researching thanks to the Internet. A year ago when we were researching agencies, we gathered all the information we could. As we looked at agencies and selected our agency, I was fortunate enough to have been given photos of children in an orphanage in one of the Provinces where the agency works in Vietnam. These photos were taken on a trip by a staff person who was working at the sponsorship summer camp. One of the photos caught my eye. The children in the photo where stunning, girls. I kept a copy of that photo on computer as my wallpaper to keep me going during the long wait.

These children where no longer infants and I knew that they would be harder to place as they aged in the orphanage. Most families want infant girls. Not us, we entered this adoption wanting to adopt a girl that possible was caught up in Vietnam’s 3 year long moratorium and destined to stay in an orphanage long-term due to age. These children came into the orphanage after Vietnam shut down adoptions and these children were growing older in the orphanage with little hope of finding a family.

As the year went by, this photo of the children in this Province inspired me to continue to fight for ethical adoptions for the children of VN. At one point, I even inquired about the children in the photo and was told that these children have been referred and will be traveling to their new home soon. I was really glad they had finally found a forever family. As Christmas neared I was told that the Province where the photo of the children was taken was going to open soon. Of course, I began to research to see if any of the children in the orphanage would fit our home study and hope the Province would open soon.

The Province has opened and there are 13 older (up to age 6) children in the orphanage. Some of the children have called this orphanage home for five years. My thoughts go back to the photos of the children I had seen at the beginning of our journey. Some have been referred out and some have not. Which ones are still there?

I found a mom who took her child on a homeland tour to the orphanage. This orphanage was the same orphanage my inspirational photo came from. Would she have information about the children remaining in the orphanage? I contacted her through email and she instantly replied with a phone number to call. Yes, she was at the orphanage less than a year ago and was able to see the children in the photo. She also told me the children in my photo were to have been referred out to another agency. Because the officials felt it may look inappropriate the children where not referred. She expressed her sorrow for the children. She knew that if they didn’t get referred soon the chances are slim that they would find a home.

So here I now had a photo on my computer of two lovely children who inspired me throughout the adoption process, who were still stuck in VN. Could one of these children be our adoptive child? The answer is yes!! We received a referral on May 24th. I saw the photo over a year ago and it is burned into my memory. The photo I saw a year ago was of a set of 2 year old twin girls.
We have been given a referral of the twin girls in the photo. They are now beautiful 3 year old girls. They have been waiting and waiting for their forever family only to be caught up in the moratorium and politics of the agency and government. They have had very little; nothing to call their own except for each other. But now they have a family. A mother, a father, and 3 big brothers who will care for them, protect them and love them forever. They will have a bed with a mattress to sleep on. They will have food to eat when they are hungry. They will have warm, clean clothes to wear. Most of all they will have a family!

So with all that said I would like to present our daughters

Thanh Van and Thanh Vy

The last few days have been wonderful, exciting, stressful and full of wonder. Last Wednesday we signed and notarized what we thought and hoped would be out last docs before we traveled. We were able to get all this done and off to Fed Ex before 10 am. We took a breath of relief that we were going to finally be on our way to see our beautiful girls. Thursday I was to take one last trip to visit a dear friend in VA. My one last girl’s weekend before the twins come home. It was a wonderful trip and I enjoyed every minute of it except for the phone call from the agency saying that another set of papers needed to be signed. Sigh! So off I go again waiting for the docs to be emailed and running around trying to find a DHL office in a city I am not that familiar with. But I am happy to say it was sent off on Friday and made it to Vietnam on Monday. Now I am hoping this is the last docs we have to sign before we are in Vietnam.

When I returned home on Monday our Passports with Visa’s were there. Yeah! On Tuesday our flight tickets arrived and today our agency sent an email stating that the in country adoption fees had been paid by the Vietnam agency staff. So it looks like everything is a go. We will leave on the 16th and I am hoping to meet the girls on Saturday the 20th.

I can’t wait to hold my girls!

G&R Date........Maybe

We are hoping for a G&R date for the week of Oct.22 however we were still filling out corrected forms yet this morning. Since we are the first family to adopt from Binh Thuan since the moratorium the forms needed to be revised for Binh Thuan slowing the process down. We are still hopeful for the week of the 22nd with a G&R on the 24th. If this is the case we will leave for VN on the 16th and are hoping to spend 4 days with the girls before the G&R. Wish us luck that things go smoothly from now on. I will keep you posted as travel time comes closer.

"You have received the invitation to travel."

At 1:06 today we received an email for H the Program Director that we have received the invitation to travel. We do not have a G&R date but we are hoping it will be the week of the 22 Oct. We are hoping to leave a week early to spend time with the girls in hopes to make the transition smoother for them. Thank you to all that have been praying for our family.

Because we have not traveled yet……

I canned 40 quarts of tomatoes.
We were home for our son’s 22nd birthday.
The boys and I went to see Jeff Dunham live. I highly recommend seeing him!
I was able to visit two of my great friends one in Texas and one in Virginia.
I was able to get 34 of my continuing Ed hours for the year only two more hours to go
I had 2 root canals in two weeks.
My flowers will be bitten by the frost so no need to find someone to care for them.
The yard will not have to be mowed as much if at all. This will make my boys happy.
We will be able to save money for Vietnam.
I was able to see Iowa State beat Iowa! Go Cyclones!
My love for the girls grows ever stronger.