July 2006

July 2, 2006
The month of May and June just flew by. Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to post. May was a busy month with school coming to an end and going to all the end of the year activities. P and I worked on the pre-adoption workbook With Eyes Wide Open. It took us the whole weekend to complete all the questions. Good thing it rained. Our first home study meeting went great. It lasted 2 1/2 hours, and time went by very quickly. Our second Home study meeting was at our home. The social worker arrived at one and left about four. She interviewed all the boys. It was fun to hear what the boys think about the adoption and their lives in our household. Overall the meeting went great; it was just long. With each interview with the boys, she told them that they could have a sister by Christmas. As she left our home she was hoping to get the report written up the next week.The next week went very fast and on June 8 she called to tell us we were verbally “home study approved” and she would write up the hard copy when she got back from Europe. That meant we would not have our hard copy of our home study until July.I kept myself busy while she was gone by collecting documents for our dossier. ( The dossier is a large stack of papers that Vietnam requires to adopt.) By the time she got back from Europe I had all the forms I needed to finish our dossier except for the home study. So, we wait.Once the final home study is complete. P, A and I will go toDes Moines to get our fingerprints taken at the Immigration department. Fingerprints will be check to assure the Vietnam government that we do not have a criminal background. Once that is done we will need to wait for the 171 form.All of the dossier forms have to be notarized and some will have to be state certified. More time more waiting.The final step is to send all the forms to be authenticated in San Fransisco at the Vietnam Consulate. More time more waiting and more money. It will cost $50 per document to get authenticated, about 400 to 500 dollars. After that, the forms get sent to our agency. They will check everything over and if they are O.K., they will send it Vietnam. And then the waiting for the referral begins.

My Mother Taught Me......

A little humor as mother’s day approaches May 5, 2006
My Mother Taught Me.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
“You’d better pray that will come out of the carpet.”
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,you’re not going to the store with me.”
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.”
7. My mother taught me IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
“Shut your mouth and eat your supper.”
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM .
“Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!”
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it.”
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”
13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
“There are millions of less fortunate children in this world whodon’t have wonderful parents like you do.”
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
“Just wait until we get home.”
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
“You are going to get it when you get home!”
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
“If you don’t stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way.”
19. My mother taught me ESP.
“Put your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?”
20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
“When that lawnmower cuts off your toes, don’t come running to me.”
21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
“If you don’t eat your vegetables, you’ll never grow up.”
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
“You’re just like your father.”
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.”
Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?”
24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”
25. And my favorite: my mother taught me about JUSTICE.
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!”

May 2006

May 2006
Our good news is that we finished the workbook and work sheets to start our home study! I turned it in yesterday, so we are officially starting our home study! What is next? You guessed it waiting. What are we going to do while we are waiting? Yesterday, I ordered 6 yards of good black dirt for our gardens and gardens to be. I think that will keep us busy for a few days. Pray we will not have rain. That would be messy. Pat will be at drill this weekend so I guess I have a lot of work to do!Our waiting time for this phase is not so bad. First, our file needs to be sent by snail mail to the agency to CR. It will take a week for the Social Worker to read and study the 160+-page workbook and our 24+ work sheets that we filled out over the rainy weekend. After that, we will set up our first home study appointment and then away we go onto the next steps of our journey. The home study can take from two to four months to complete. In the meantime, I will garden. Our oldest will be moving back from college tomorrow. He has not spent a full summer home in five years. For the last five years, he has been working at Camp Wapsie first as a camp counselor and then as the Camp’s aquatics director. He has decided this year that he needs a real job so he is assistant manager of aquatics at the CR country club. He is moving up but it always seems to be around water and children. Having him home for the summer will be a blessing and a curse. I will love having him home. His brothers on the other hand have to readjust to a new pecking order and may not always appreciate having him in the house as much as we do. Life is always an adventure at our house. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

April 2006

April 2006
Waiting is the hardest. For those of you who know me, you know that when I decide to do something, I roll up my sleeves and get to work. When you are pregnant, you know that waiting is part of the game and you want to wait so the baby will be developed and strong to enter the world. That makes sense to me. With the adoption process, we wait for one thing to finish before you move on to the next. Right now we are waiting to do a pre-adoption class. I know that there is a lot of paperwork yet to complete, biographies to write, and certificates to find, so why can’t I be working on that? The people from the agency say they don’t want to overwhelm us with all the paperwork. Well, I know how to pace myself. This is not difficult compared to what we have done in the past. So, let us roll up our sleeves and work. Good old farm ethic. So what do I do? I wait, I garden, I surf the net for anything that relates to adoption and Vietnam. My husband thinks I’m addicted to the net. Not such a bad thing, there are worse. I haven’t blogged much because there isn’t much to say other than vent my frustration. But even though waiting is hard, we know it is for a good purpose, a life long dream and part of God’s plan.
Welcome to our journey! We have just started this adoption journey and it is all I can think about. After choosing an adoption agency and registering, we started on the pages and pages of the application. DHS application, DHS fact sheet, physical exam reports, agency agreements, reference letters, background check release forms for city, county, state, 10 year residential history, plus birth and marriage certificates, and family photo. If we had all this paperwork for biological kids, we would have fewer children in the world. On second thought, it sure would be good birth control. That is just the beginning. There will be much more to come I am sure. Don’t get me wrong; I will do all of this to adopt a child. Actually, I would much rather be doing paperwork than waiting. At least I have some control of the time when I am filling out forms and finding certificates. Right now I just have to wait and wait for everyone else to get their job done. Therefore, I will be patient. Good thing it is spring and I can work outside on landscaping and planting flowers.

The Beginning.......

The Beginning……..
This journey to adoption has been a long time dream. I have dreamt about adopting a child since early childhood. As my life unfolded, my husband and I have been married for 23 years. We have three biological boys/men of whom we are very proud. The dream of adoption would pop up every now and then, but it never seemed like it was the right time.My husband was deployed last year to serve our country with the Army. He left the day after Valentines Day 2005 and was gone until Feb. 2006. This year gave me time to soul search and become closer to God. I took each day at a time and put all my trust in the God that he would allow my husband to come home safely and he did. He has traveled the world many time and I have always teased him that when he traveled just find a little girl, put her in your suitcase, and bring her home. He never did. However, after he got home from overseas this year, everything seemed to be settling back into place, and our family was complete again, but I had an uncontrollable feeling to go on-line and google the word adoptions. As I did research, doors opened and the possibilities were revealed. I trust in God and know that he will show me the way that is right for my family. If this adoption is in God’s will, it will happen. I was overcome by emotion. It was time to explore the adoption dream of mine. I did not tell my husband for a couple of days after that. I did not know how he would take it. One evening after he came home from work I told him I did a very bad thing on the Internet a couple of days ago. I googled the word adoption. Silence…Finally, he said ………… What about retirement and how much is it going to cost? I should have known. Well after a few days of thinking, discussing, soul searching and then more research and discussing, we came to a decision that yes, we would take the journey and see where it leads us. If God is leading us to do this, we will see where he will take us. Doors have been opening, but a couple closed only to then have another one open.I invite you to follow us through this adoption journey in search for a forever family for a little girl.